


Bane of the Doctor - Part 7: Two Doctors, One Mind

by RodimusDoctor



Series: Bane of the Doctor [8]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Multiple Doctors (Doctor Who), Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 10:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1775437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RodimusDoctor/pseuds/RodimusDoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor (10th) recovers from his most recent terror-nightmare, brought on by Dr. Crane's gas. His mind once again conjures up an avatar of his sixth incarnation to help him cope with the situation. As they talk, a significant vulnerability in the 10th Doctor's mindset becomes apparent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bane of the Doctor - Part 7: Two Doctors, One Mind

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post a brief apology for the long delay between episodes of this story. It wasn't that I hadn't written the next part, exactly, but I struggled a great deal in how I wanted this bit of the story to go. It's not a particularly long episode, just a very difficult episode to get right. I'm back on track now, and Part 8 is almost ready to go! Thanks for your patience.

The effects of the gas slowly began to wear off. The Doctor lay on his back, breathing deeply. 

When he was able to think again, the 6th Doctor avatar came into his mind once more.

“Shall we pick up where we left off?” he said. 

“Please Sir still hasn’t healed me,” the Doctor told himself. “And, it would appear that the incarnation of me coming to my rescue still hasn’t arrived.”

“True enough,” said the 6th Doctor. “But that only puts us in the same position we were in before. With, I might add, the same assets! Your own brilliant cleverness, and...”

“And a mind avatar I conjured up so I can pretend I’m talking to someone,” the Doctor cut in. He tried to sit up and instantly regretted it.

“A mind avatar to help you cogitate!” the 6th Doctor corrected him.

“Or perhaps I’m only telling myself what I want to hear,” the Doctor said.

The 6th Doctor shook his head and leaned forward.

“Do you honestly think,” he said, “that I would tell anyone what they wanted to hear?”

The Doctor considered this.

“Fair point,” he said.

“Indeed,” the mind avatar said. “Back to business. We were looking at ways to throw a proverbial sabot into the machine, as it were.”

“Well, there’s not much I can do in this position,” the Doctor said. “And since you’re my mind, if I don’t have any ideas, then you don’t have any ideas.”

The 6th Doctor walked over and crouched beside him.

“You could regenerate,” he said.

The Doctor stared at his sixth incarnation for a few moments, then shook his head.

“It would heal all your injuries, revitalize you,” the 6th Doctor said. “And the released energy might just burn its way out of that suit you’re in.”

“Please Sir is ready for that,” the Doctor said. “He probably suspended my ability to regenerate.”

“Why don’t you find out for sure?”

“Can’t,” the Doctor looked away from his other self. “I used up a regeneration recently. My body needs time to recharge before I can do it again.”

“What a steaming load of codswallop!” the 6th Doctor snapped, standing with his hands on his hips in his I’m-extremely-cross pose. “We’re not a rechargeable battery. If we were, we could go on regenerating indefinitely. No, we have one energy charge that can be tapped twelve times, but those twelve times can be anytime! If a Time Lord so wished, they could use up all their energy in one go to save another Time Lord’s life.”

“I know, I know,” the Doctor continued to avoid eye contact.

“Of course you do,” his younger self rounded on him and forced their eyes to meet. “So stop making excuses. What is this really all about?”

“I’m not finished,” the Doctor said. “I can still do so much more.”

“And you will,” the Sixth Doctor told him.

“I’m not ready!”

“You think I was? I should have known that exercise bicycle of Mel’s would be the death of me. But I carried on!” As he spoke, his features blurred and became that of the 7th Doctor. “Why won’t you?”

“I don’t want to go, alright?” the Doctor snapped. “I don’t want my song to end. I like being me. What’s wrong with me wanting to stay me?”

“And people said I was in love with myself!” the 6th Doctor said, his features restored, as he sat down heavily beside his future self. “How long has this been going on?”

“Since the Time War,” the Doctor said. “Since I lost Rose. And Donna. The Tardis was all I had left, and now I’m here...”

“You’re all you have left, yes I see,” his previous incarnation sighed and nodded. “It’s been building for a while, under the surface.”

“And Please Sir brought it to the surface,” the Doctor said. “And now I’m terrified to let go. The thought of losing what I am... I can’t bear it! I...”

“Oh, stop it!” the 6th Doctor said. “Think! Why are you desperate to retain this incarnation? How does your fear of losing it help your captor? What does he have to gain? This is what you must find out, Doctor! Are you even listening to me?”

“Yes, I’m listening!” the Doctor snapped. He tried to rise again, and once more regretted it. “Perhaps Please Sir is afraid of what I’ll become.”

“Could be, yes,” his younger self stood and resumed pacing. “But he’s gone to an awful lot of trouble when he could have simply killed you.”

“Then he plans to use me for something,” the Doctor said. “He talked about things I will do, so he’s had some kind of contact with my future incarnation.”

“Perhaps he wants to alter the man you will become,” the 6th Doctor suggested. “Or...” He stopped pacing, looked down at the Doctor, then looked away again.

“Or?” the Doctor prompted. “Come on, it’s not like you to be tongue-tied. Or what?”

“Or perhaps,” the 6th Doctor continued looking away, “targeting this fear is simply the most efficient means of breaking you.”

The Doctor nodded; that was a very strong possibility.

“I suppose you’re going to say I must face that fear.”

“Don’t need to,” his younger self said. “You know what you have to do.” To drive the point home, the 6th Doctor avatar disappeared.

“Just me, then,” the Doctor said. “So nothing’s changed, really.”

He thought about regenerating. He just had to decide to do it. Release the energy, get his health and senses back, and look for a way to escape.

And give up who he was. Dread terror filled the Doctor’s heart at the very thought of it.

“Do it,” he told himself. “Just let go.”

But he couldn’t. Tears welled up in his eyes and his body shook, triggering blades of pain throughout his body.

He couldn’t do it.

He’d become his own captor.


End file.
